Lynness: Addendum- learning more about me all the time

A few things to keep in mind, or to add to my last...
You've got to remember that I lived most of my public school life (2nd
half of 1st grade through12th) here in the county just minutes from
Richmond, the capital of the Confederacy, where statues of Confederate
heroes line Monument Avenue in Richmond a few streets from where I went
to high school. And that my mother and grandmother grew up here and that
all my mother's people were southern. (My daddy, however, is a Yankee.)
And you have to realize that for some here the Civil War lives on.
Growing up in this kind of environment is bound to leave a mark- whether
you're black or white.
While my mother and her family have never said anything very bad about
black people, the prevailing attitude was to just stay out of each
other's way. And while she has some very close black friends, all the
ones I can think of were not raised in America. I am sure I'm
stereotyping, but the African-American population seems to have an
attitude. And perhaps it is cultural- a reaction to the treatment their
ancestors received at the hands of mine; or perhaps a devil-may-care
posture in the face of continued inequality. I remember asking my mom
what she thought of the movie "Remember the Titans," which I enjoyed.
She was 6 when the Brown decision was handed down and experienced
desegregation in the Petersburg area, 25 minutes south of Richmond. She
said something along the lines of, "Well, the black kids I knew sure
weren't as nice as the ones in the movie."
I think that's my whole problem: generalizing. While I have no problem
interacting with black people on a person-to-person basis, I still can't
seem to shake the legacy that has been handed down to me. I certainly
would not feel comfortable going to a "black" church (and often wonder
what black investigators think when they come into our chapel and see
99% white people- I don't blame many for never coming back), and I don't
seek out black friends (although I don't seek out friends much period:
although not shy, (I love to teach- seminary, sign language, anatomy,
you name it) I am more of an introvert and prefer small groups or
one-on-one interaction and actually get stressed by having too many
social commitments or friends to keep up with.)
In the book that started all this, it noted that counties in VA with a
smaller black population were more liberal and had less of a problem
with integration, while places with larger black populations (like
Richmond) had more of a negative reaction. Why is this? Maybe because a
smaller population is less threatening while a bigger one seems in your
face all the time? Maybe that's the point I'm at- I am starting to feel
like a minority and, surprise, surprise! I don't like it...